Are you waiting to be happy?

Category: Article or Blog Published: Tuesday, 05 May 2015 Written by Sarah PJ White

We all want to be happy; it’s what we strive for. Ask anyone what their ultimate goal is in life, and the answer will always be “happiness”. If we’re all looking for the same end result… why are so many of us not yet happy?

waiting to be happyThe biggest issue most of us have is we are actually waiting. We’re looking at our happiness as a future end goal – and so we wait for our future to arrive, so we can then be happy.

We delay those happy feelings, in order to keep ourselves stuck and “safe”. Why would we do this? Well moving forward from our present position involves stepping out of our comfort zones – and this leads to feeling uncomfortable, unsettled, worried and potentially fearful – so we delay moving forward.

This delaying technique usually shows itself in three different guises:

#1: Waiting for the right excuse

The first way we delay ourselves is setting strict “rules” to moving forward. We can’t possibly move forward until we have the right conditions, the right time, day, week, month and/or year.

We become master of plausible excuses – including the weather, our age, financial situation etc. etc…

#2: Waiting for permission

This delaying technique can show up in various ways – some more obvious than the others. The obvious way we delay getting “permission” is through the simple act of keeping quiet. By not voicing our desires and wishes, we keep them hidden and unfulfilled.

Another way we carry out waiting for permission is seemingly more productive, but just as delaying… we ask for the opinions of others. Whether speaking to our nearest and dearest or our work colleagues, we get others to advise whether what we want to do is actually a good or bad thing, worthwhile or not worth our efforts and time.

Waiting for a sign

stop waiting to be happyThe final way we delay our happiness is by waiting for a sign or signal that it’s time to move forwards. We wait for that “lightbulb” moment or for a sign from God, the Universe, nature and whatever else we can think off. The problem with signs though, is they can often start out quite small – until you move nearer to your end goal!

The main problem with these three excuses is simply that you’re focusing and looking in the wrong places! We spend our time looking for external things to make us happy – and happiness is simply an internal decision and choice. We look externally for verification that whatever makes us happy is the right thing – when in reality, all the answers you need are already inside you – if you just took the time to notice those “gut” feelings and emotive reactions to those things that currently make you happy.

So learn to switch your focus from external to internal, listen to your inner self rather than other people and live in the now… and decide now is a good time to start being happy.

Did these delaying excuses raise feelings of resistance in you? Were you able to identify what you’ve been doing to stop being happy – and did the results surprise you? What can you do to choose happiness now?

Images courtesy of num_skyman & stockimages/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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